in every sky

there is a rainbow in every sky, but we cannot always see it through the clouds and rain.
my choices have not always been choices that work for me. my visions have become clouded by doubt and fear and drugs and poor attitudes, attitudes that went against growth and life for me.
forces stronger than mine alone brought this gift of a rainbow to me and my children one day when i was not doing so well. what gifts life brings!
today i am trying my best to make decisions that support life, that work for me, and for my children. i am blessed to be here, and so are you.
may it always be so. may it always be so for you and yours.

"the soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears." ~minquass nation, native american proverb

aliveness

there is a feeling, a sense of genuine aliveness that comes to us when we are in a state of contentment with the world around us. it does not require money, it does not require 'things', it only arrives to us when we are experiencing peace.
Look around, when you are at this place inside, you FEEL the universe aligning with you. The truth is we are always in this state of alignment- we need only open our hearts to the feeling.
We are not broken beings, we are beings who seek to feel our wholeness in this space.

i took this picture a couple of years ago, when i was feeling peace. i looked around and right in the sky was the confirmation of the beauty always surrounding us.

amazingly graced

the fates decreed that i should still be living, through perhaps no great choice making on my own part. I have danced with my destiny in some of the grandest of styles. I have brilliantly choreographed some of the most amazing plans and achievements.
I do deserve to be on this side of the earth, not under, though no more so than anyone else walking along with me here.
I do believe we all are graced with this moment. I have to believe I have many tomorrows with better dreams.
We all have to hold our heads up and keep moving, keep dancing, no matter how difficult the path may seem.

And as my new friend on speakingtree, Nandita Sanyal, suggested, "Breathe in... and breathe out". Thank you, Nandita, for encouraging me. May we all be so lovingly reassured.

we all have a story

We all have a story. We all have dreamed many beautiful dreams. Many of us have suffered through nightmares. Some of us might be suffering a nightmare on this day.
We all have the opportunity to walk through our struggles. Either holding our heads up or falling into sorrow or shame. I say let's walk through it! Let's hold our heads up, and though we may feel tired, let's pull ourselves together and keep on walking our walks. The journey is not over- for we are still here. May we hold ourselves up and be strong.

If you see another in struggle- please offer them a smile. You might just save a life. Your spirit body will soar out to meet their spirit body, and their trudge may just become a little lighter.

Picture one of the most internationally recognized photos of the 20th century, "The Afghan Girl" by National Geographic Magazine.

quicksands

pic via 'pure from within' from facebook

i feel as if i have lost sight of my dreams and visions. my goals are shaky, my footing is insecure. i want to share with you this journey i am on. i want to be someone who not only walks through the fire, but does manage to get to the other side. i have certainly proven to all who have known me, that i am quite capable of dabbling in the quicksands of the world.
but i am more than just this one who has stumbled. i am one who has learned how to pick up the pieces and move along.
the hope shot? that perhaps my life will have had more meaning for all of it's twists and turns. perhaps i will say something to inspire you, or say something that will ripple out to someone else who really needs to hear it, and with this knowledge, we may continue to shape shift the world into a more loving, and less broken space.
my hope for this world?
that together we will leave behind, when we go, a space made more sacred by our presence.

broken

it's not that i do not feel broken. it's just that i want to believe with all of my heart, that i have a fighting chance anyway.
so i made this blog about being unbroken... not because i do not feel broken in ways. i feel hurt. i feel alone. i feel left out, and i even feel like giving up... but because i am still breathing, so i still have a chance to allow the process to make of myself a better world.


i found this picture on facebook, source unknown

dreaming and believing

so i guess a blog is for someone with 'expertise' to share their knowledge. i have learned a lot in my life, but i have struggled with a lot of lessons also.
the toughest thing i have had to face is dealing with my own limitations. i cannot dabble in substances and get away with it without facing serious, powerlessness and unbelievable consequences.
i cannot thwart the system and walk away scot-free. i am not going to ever be a success if i do not get focused and remain steadily hardworking and producing brilliance we all are born with, and which i was gifted with plenty of.
all of the potential in the world will not make my dreams come true, if i do not MAKE it happen.
i can.
i have to also honestly face what i am capable of doing.
although i have been homeless, broke, poor, addicted, suicidal, up, down, and all around, i can make it.
anyone you may know or love who is lost out there CAN come back. you can too.
we are dreamers and doers. we can make anything happen in this world that we want to make happen... and we will.
expert? i do not know, but i am a believer, and i hope you are too.
may all of your dreams come true!